Most girls have a diary, well at least every girl that I know does. I have never been into writing in a diary much. One day I took an old diary, went outside to the fire pit, and burned it. My mom didn't understand why I did this. You see I usually would write in my journal when either something really good happened in my life (usually about a boy) or when something really bad happened (again usually a boy or family problems). I usually would not be thinking clearly when I wrote. Sure diaries are fun took look back at, but for me, they can be painful reminders of how stupid I once was/am. Why do I want to be reminded of the painful times in my life?
I am just about the must moodiest person in the world. One minute I will be laughing and the next I will be crying. One minutes I will want to hug the person I love and the next I will want to bash them in the head. I honestly hate that about myself because just am much as you don't know what I am going to do next, I never know what I am going to do next. I do the most retarded things. Why should I write it down in a diary? So I can go back and remember how completely lost I am. One night, just a month or so ago, I came to the conclusion that I was crazy. I came to this conclusion because I couldn't find any other reason why I can hardly ever think straight.
I am keeping a diary right now. It was actually a diary to my ex boyfriend. I was going to give it to him when I was done writing in it. The first two pages were about how much I missed him. The next ten pages were about how much I hated him. See between the first two and the next ten, we broke up. Now it's just a diary. I wanted to rip out those twelve stupid pages, but I couldn't cause I would destroy the book in the process. So now I am stuck with twelve pages of another stupid part of my life. Maybe when I fill the whole book up, I will burn it. Maybe at the end though, I wont be crazy or lost anymore so I will decide to keep it. Then one day I will look at it and see how much I have grown.
Miss Moody,
Emily
About Me
- Emily Elizabeth Voye
- Jesus Christ is my savior. I am a waitress. I love white chocolate mochas. The simple things in life are the most enjoyable.
2 comments:
I understand how annoying it is to look back at your past mistakes... it can lead to regrets if you view it the wrong way... BUT if you choose to see it in another light, it's one of the best things. Look at it from the perspective of how far God has brought you. I can read my diaries and see things i hate, but i can thank God for bringing me through it and helping me past that time.
Even though our lives may seems stupid, God always has a purpose for what we go through. yes it is true that most of the time we cannot see His purpose, but it is still comforting to know that the things we go through are never in vain. God is creating a perfect picture and each one of our lives are a little piece of that picture....like have u ever seen those pictures that are made up of a bunch of different faces but when u step back it just looks like one big face?....that's what our lives are like except we aren't able to step back and view the complete picture yet. someday in heaven though it will all make sense. :)
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